Mytime Active Stories - Barbara & James

A break from the norm

Barbara, 68, from Petts Wood, attended Mytime Active’s Paracise classes with her husband James, who had dementia. Although not a participant herself, she found the classes gave James something to look forward to each week and allowed her to take some respite and a few minutes to herself. Barbara and James

 

“James had been a very active man and an avid rugby player in his youth,” she says. “He’d done both tap and ballroom dancing as a child too, so when, in his 60s, he discovered Zumba, he fell in love with the classes and the music. However, as he began to become more ill with dementia and his memory started to falter, James couldn’t attend Zumba on his own anymore. I contacted Mytime and they couldn’t have been more helpful. Ann Willbourn, who manages the over 60s Primetime offer, suggested James come along to her Primetime Paracise class instead, as there would be dementia trained Primetime Buddies there to help. It was the perfect next step.”

As his condition progressed, Barbara began taking James to Paracise at Crofton Halls, to ensure he got there and home again without getting lost. “From my point of view, because there were Primetime Buddies in the room and they always took such good care of James, it gave me a break,” says Barbara. “I could sit outside of the class in peace and have half an hour to myself. The Buddies were so kind; someone would always bring me a cup of tea. James loved those classes. We were made to feel very welcome and both looked forward to that time.”

As James’ condition deteriorated and he had a few tumbles, Ann suggested he switch to the Primetime strength and stability class, which was mainly seated. “James wanted to join in as much as he could, but he became too unsteady even when seated, so eventually I had to be in there with him, to help keep him stable,” recalls Barbara. “We’d sit on the back row and do as much as we could; people were never anything but kind.

“Everyone knew his name and we always felt very welcomed. The instructors were great at adapting the exercises to his needs, so he never felt like he wasn’t participating. For James to be able to stay active and social, when dementia can be so isolating, was such a bonus for us both. The classes gave us somewhere to be and some time away from the house. When you’re living with someone who has dementia, a change of scene for even half an hour makes all the difference. And for me, it was such a help to be with other carers going through the same thing.

James passed away in the spring, after a short stay in hospital. “James deteriorated rapidly at the end, but even when he was really struggling everyone was super helpful, friendly and welcoming,” says Barbara. “We attended our last class on the Friday before he was admitted to hospital at the weekend. He passed away two weeks later. I’m glad he got to keep attending the classes he loved so much right until the end. After he died, I went back to visit and the team could not have been kinder. Primetime is like a family, they genuinely care.”

Ann Wilbourn, Team Leader of the Primetime programme has found memories of Barbara and James:

"Barbara is a lovely lady and James is a great loss, he is missed in our classes by members, buddies and by me. The lovely thing about this case in particular is that we were able to bring joy to both James and Barbara when he was well and going to Zumba with Sarah Elston (Group Exercise Programme Manager) every week. We then supported him through Paracise and then Seated as his illness progressed. I went to his funeral and we were mentioned in the eulogy on several occasions as both Barbara and James both had a love of dance and its how they met in the first place. I could always catch James’ eye in the class when a particular song came on.  For James it was ‘When you’re smiling’.

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